I have been in the field of mental health for over two decades and to this day I am excited and intrigued by the way people think and how they respond or react to life’s situations. We are all so amazingly alike and yet so very different at the same time.
Certainly, psychiatric conditions such as Paranoid-Schizophrenia, Manic-Depression, and Severe Autism exist. For those individuals who truly have those conditions, the bio-chemical conditions are severely imbalanced and may require a life-time of medical intervention. However, miracles happen daily and progress is being made in the treatment of such conditions.
Although certain medical conditions may have always existed, the prevalence of particular disorders, both physical and mental, are cyclical and dependent upon the cultural trends of the time. A clear example of this is the current upsurge in Asthma and Attention Deficient Disorder.
In my practice, for the vast majority of individuals who are looking at mental health issues, the real question is more in terms of finding purpose, a sense of self, passion for living, and a sense of belonging. Anxiety and depression, which are the most commonly presented difficulties for those entering treatment, are actually the emotional consequences for some who have lost their way without realizing it.
In my experience, when we begin to think that life is random and happens “to” us, we can become frightened and often reactionary. This results from a belief that we are passive recipients of what comes our way. When we begin to recognize that no matter what happens we will land on our feet, even if we don’t like where we land, we can figure out where to go from there.
Depression exists only to the extent that you believe you are powerless. A common question is,“What happens when you have done everything right and yet it all feels so wrong?” My response is: “Stop doing everything `right’ and start doing everything real. Learn who you are, not who you think you should be.”
That may not be a simple answer to understand or accept, since most folks think that who they have forced themselves to become is the real them. If that were the truth, they would be at home in their own skin, in their lives, and on this planet. We are all spiritual beings, embodied souls, living an adventure and becoming all that we are capable of being. When we lose sight of that, we get caught in the superficial aspects of the journey and tend to move toward survival rather than living.
As a result, when our health, on any level, is not optimum, we need to understand which aspect of who we are has been forgotten. Wholistic health requires that we look at all aspects of who we are and how each aspect is impacting the others. Our mental health, or dis-ease, does not exist in isolation; it exists in a context. A patient’s childhood can help the therapist support the client in seeing how past issues are still influencing the present. If they are in the office today, it is because their problem is impacting their life today. The ‘today’ problem is the priority, so why not work with that? It will, indirectly, help heal the past as well.
Looking at our past allows us to see how we developed our world view. We can come to understand why we think the way we do and why we see the world, ourselves, and our relationships the way we do. We can see why we act and react the way we do. The next real question is “Is there any thing about all that that does not work for you in your life right now?” If so, are you willing to change it?
Most individuals who come in to a professional office for psychotherapy come in because they are having trouble adjusting to their lives and the way they are unfolding. After doing “all the right things” life didn’t go as it was “supposed to.” They come because, based on their belief systems, it wasn’t supposed to be the way it turned out or because they believe that someone else has a secret bullet that can make it all OK.
Some believe that our mental health is always in fluctuation. We all go through life experiences which leave us filled with ecstasy and excitement, we all go through experiences which fill us with great fear and anxiety, and we have all had experiences which have filled us with great sadness or rage. What we do with all those defines the state of our mental health. The fact that we are in those emotions can be a very healthy response to a very emotional situation. Staying in that reactionary place however, is where the imbalance in our systems begins.
What if you believed everything has a purpose? In my experience, people who believe these things, although they may not like everything that happens in their life, see the occurrences in their life as being purposeful, as a source of learning and of growth. They often, after a period of time, see that it was a gift. Consequently, they go through the grief, the anger, or the fear and then they come out the other end.
Those particular skills of learning and letting go can be developed if you do not possess them yet. They require you to take risks, to stop surviving and start living. They require you to jump into life, fully, so that you can begin to see what it is you want, how you want to get there, and what you want to do once you arrive. They require you to give up the illusions of powerlessness or of being in control. Mental health, for most, is a result of the decision to live life fully, and to let go of those beliefs that hold you back.
Life can be seen as a spiritual journey. If we see ourselves as powerless, or as fear-filled, it can be because we have come to a point where we believe that we are in this world alone and that it is more than we can handle. What if we are not in this world alone? What if we never walked alone?
If we are intrinsically spiritual beings, wholistically, wouldn’t our spiritual belief systems have a massive impact on our emotional state? What are your spiritual beliefs? What is your view of the world, and of your life journey?
I believe we are both contemplative and communal beings. Living our life in community is a necessity, living it inwardly as well is what allows us to be fully present, alive, and balanced.
Dorothy Martin-Neville will be leading a workshop December 5-7. Click for more info.
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